In one of those Dos Equis “The most interesting man in the world” ads I saw recently, the announcer said: “Mosquitoes refuse to bite him out of respect”. But that’s not true! This commercial is twisting the facts to cover up something unsavory about this most interesting of men.
No, the truth is, mosquitoes refuse to bite him because his blood is completely infected with STDs and such from all the free sex he’s always been getting for years and years and years, from a new person every day and night, because he is the most interesting man in the world (and the mosquitoes can smell it)! You see, hot women and men can’t resist this man, because he’s so interesting; and he can’t resist their sexual advances either, because he’s a man. So he’s caught every yucky sexually-transmitted disease known to mankind. And mosquitoes don’t want any of that stuff! (And neither do vampires: that’s why vampires don’t bite him either.)
I can’t seem to find the particular ad I’m looking for, but here’s another one where they’re trying to cover up this blood-borne pathogen issue even further by saying his blood smells like cologne (obviously so the mosquitoes can’t smell his diseases anymore, and he can use himself as insecticide):
