We all know about the kerfuffle over the Sexy Geisha and the Native American headdress, but most people don’t know about all the other “sexy” culturally-themed outfits Victoria’s Secret has planned and then cancelled over the years. Well, you’re in for a treat, because one of my sources just gave me this list from their secret files! (Just kidding. They’re actually going to be in the upcoming catalog, and they’re already online on their website. {Okay, no they aren’t. But maybe they should be!})
The first cancelled sexy outfit Victoria’s Secret ever planned was of their namesake Queen Victoria (History’s sexist monarch!), the so-called “Victoria’s Secret” (The one that started it all!) where it’s the same dress and crown she used to wear (only with a modestly shorter hem-line), but with no underwear underneath (!!), and a secret buttoned door in the back for easy access (well, for back then, anyway). This was from the late 19th Century, and when it was announced, it caused such an uproar, it had to be immediately discontinued, and the company had to relocate to the United States.
Then there was the “Sexy Suffragette”. This was essentially a prim & proper-looking dress turned into a negligee. This didn’t seem to appeal to most men at the time, since they were mostly sexists, so these didn’t sell. Oh, and also, Suffragettes were offended too.
After this, there was the failed “Floozy Flapper”, which was a negligee with fringe tassels in rows, just like on a flapper dress. The only problem was, everyone was too drunk during “The Jazz Age” to notice the difference from the regular dress. So this was also discontinued.
Then, with the block-buster horror extravaganzas Frankenstein and Bride of Frankenstein, they couldn’t resist releasing the fetishy “Fondle Frankenstein” outfit. This was basically a gauze bandage halter-onesie held together with safety pins (the origin of the punk rock staple!), but the whole thing was too much for still Puritanical America, and it was quickly scrapped.
Along with the rise of Hitler’s Germany, there was, of course, the “Sexy Stormtrooper” outfit, which outraged much of the world, so it was quickly discontinued.
During the hype over the much anticipated movie Gone With The Wind, they tried a “Sexy Scarlet” outfit that was advertised with the slogan: “Come With The Wind!” This was deemed too explicit for the times, and it was immediately withdrawn and an apology was quickly sent out across he country in its place.
Of course, once Castro captured Cuba, there was the “Sexy Socialist” outfit. It was a Cuban rebel beret with a fatigue green negligee. Naturally, the Red Scare in America was the wrong time for this, so it was hastily swept under the rug (although with all the Che t-shirts out there, I’ll bet it would be very popular now!).
Then there was the “Sexy Summer of Love” outfit, which was a failure because there was so much free love in the late ‘60s, nobody wanted to have to pay for anything even related to sex. So again, this was an ill-timed and ill-conceived design, which was quickly disavowed and discontinued.
The 1970s saw such short hem-lines and explicit sex in movies, designer bedroomwear was largely ignored. The only thing they tried was a Texas Chain Saw Massacre tie-in called “Leatherface Lingerie”, containing a dead-human-face-looking mask, with a rawhide bikini, and condoms claiming to be made of real human intestines, lubed with blood-colored K-Y Jelly. But this was quickly rejected by a revolted public. (Oh, and also the forgettable “Sexy Star Wars” outfits, which were a Darth Vader mask and black Speedo for the man, and a Princess Leia dress with crotchless underwear for the woman. This was deemed too nerdy at the time, and nobody bought it. But I’ll bet if they made it now…!) It wasn’t until the Reagan era that we saw the next failed sex fantasy garb.
Next came the “Naughty Nancy Reagan”, which brought fuming fury from Republicans, as well as complete and utter flaccidity from Democrats, so this was quickly scrapped. And even though it said: “Say No to Drugs” on the crotch, it still isn’t even considered a collectors’ item on eBay, despite the implied irony of all the boner pills out there nowadays.
Next came the “Ravish Rambo”, which was a black negligee with a toy machine gun, rubber hunting knife, and red tie-on headband. This just made Rambo fans feel like they were seducing Stallone, and as such, it went down (along with the erections), just like a Rocky sequel opponent. (And unfortunately, the same problem stymied the release of the “Titillating Terminator” outfit; not even the glowing red lights through the Gargoyle sunglasses, nor the catch phrases printed on the panties could save this one.)
In fact, it is a relatively recent phenomenon that Victoria’s Secret has tried to fetishize foreign cultures to public outcry. They used to get away with it all the time, but it was all their other interesting things that really got the lion’s share of attention. I guess they really must be running out of ideas these days if they’re back to the old “exploit the empire” stuff again. It’s so last century! Don’t you think?
Here’s an actual article that claims to know even more:
(And, of course, my “article” is naturally all made up and meant to be silly, so please don’t send me a “Sexy Subpoena” for a “Lascivious Lawsuit”!)
