Yahoo, in another one of their know-it-all “they did it wrong” opinion pieces, claim Darth Vader did a lot wrong in his first selfie. Well, apart from the fact that this is hardly his first selfie (he made lots of them before this one, even as far back as when he was a little kid borrowing other creatures’ smartphones to do it with to send flirtatious messages back and forth with Queen Amidala; but those were all restricted access selfies because they were the property of the Queen of Naboo, and they’re protected with secret encryption), the writers at Yahoo are incorrect in their criticisms because they are using their own biases to judge someone else in a situation they barely understand themselves. So I will seek to undermine their criticisms one by one below:
They claim that, number one, “He’s not using the front facing camera”.
I guess the Yahoo writers don’t realize that the Star Wars galaxy was much more advanced than ours, so their phones had the good cameras and big screens on both sides. But seeing the movies, it’s pretty evident that their technology was far superior to ours.
Number two, they claim: “He’s wearing gloves and using a touch screen”.
Also because the Star Wars galaxy was more technologically advanced than we are, and because it was run by Darth Vader, all their touch screen technology worked with gloves on, or else! (Who do you suppose set and enforced the regulations there anyway guys? Darth Vader, of course!) Also, he didn’t need to use his telekinetic powers because their smartphones were a lot better than ours. Besides, had he been using his telekinetic powers, he would have made the phone levitate while he struck some heroic pose, trust me!
They claim that, number three, “His hashtags aren’t optimized”.
In the Star Wars galaxy, hashtags worked differently than they do here. Plus, since the Star Wars galaxy was “a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away”, all of what they did happened long before everything we’re doing now; but because it’s so far away, we’re just receiving the first selfies now, even though they occurred long ago. So his hashtags were optimized for the Star Wars galaxy’s social networking, which we’re just beginning to understand here on Earth. So the truth is, Darth Vader was doing it right; it’s all of us who are doing it wrong.
And finally, they claim that, number four, “He’s surrounded by dead Stormtroopers”.
Darth Vader is surrounded by dead Stormtroopers by choice. He was trying to send the message that he is a super ruthless badass who does not hesitate to kill anyone, not even his own subordinates and soldiers, as evidenced in the Star Wars movies, especially The Empire Strikes Back. (Or they could have been playing dead as a joke, you know, to try to lure the Rebel Alliance into thinking they’d only have to face Darth Vader all by himself, only to be surprised when they showed up and found a whole battalion of Empire troops. Darth Vader is nothing if not sneaky.)
So Yahoo, lest you risk having your neck crushed by an annoyed Darth Vader, you should really stop and think before you so arrogantly claim that he’s doing something wrong; because the wrath of Star Wars nerds is just as ruthless as his, I promise you! (And I’m not even a Star Wars nerd, so imagine how the real Star Wars nerds will school you on this subject!)
Oh, and just because someone is doing something differently from how you would do it, it does not necessarily mean that they’re doing it wrong. A lot of stories on Yahoo seek to show how everyone is doing everything wrong, and that really reflects more on the writers than those they write about, because everyone is different, and everyone has the right to do things their own way, especially Darth Vader. Articles that seek to make others look bad by showing how supposedly ignorant the subject is, or how bad they look in the clothes they wear, are simply conformist bullying, and had Darth Vader not died long ago and far, far away, he would most certainly have his revenge.
Here’s the link to this silly story seeking to ridicule Lord Vader:
http://news.yahoo.com/4-ways-darth-vader-messed-first-selfie-101000390.html
I didn't notice at first, but this article is from The Week, so here’s the link to the original article:
http://theweek.com/article/index/253579/4-ways-darth-vader-messed-up-his-first-selfie
The Week’s slogan appears to be: “The best of the U.S. and international media”, and I believe it used to be: “All you need to know about everything that matters”, so I suppose the arrogant know-it-all quality is a given.
I didn't notice at first, but this article is from The Week, so here’s the link to the original article:
http://theweek.com/article/index/253579/4-ways-darth-vader-messed-up-his-first-selfie
The Week’s slogan appears to be: “The best of the U.S. and international media”, and I believe it used to be: “All you need to know about everything that matters”, so I suppose the arrogant know-it-all quality is a given.
