We see ads all over the cable channels these days for products that supposedly end snoring. They range from mouth guard type things that pull the chin further forward, sticky bandage type things that flex nostrils open, nostril covers, etc., but I doubt any of them work very well, if at all. But how about making an ad for a product that is guaranteed to end snoring? Impossible, you say? Well, it's not impossible, because it's the new Snoring Smother Pillow!
Yes, whenever your partner's snoring bothers you, simply use the Snoring Smother Pillow! Here's how it works: At the first sign of snoring, place the Snoring Smother Pillow over the face of the snoring person and push hard on the pillow, focusing on the nose and mouth area, where the snoring sound comes from. After pressing hard until your partner stops struggling, you should experience no more snoring ever again so you can finally get the rest you've been craving!
That's the Snoring Smother Pillow: It snuffs out snoring like a candle, guaranteed!
(Disclaimer: The Snoring Smother Pillow denies existing, and claims you made it up as an insanity defense for the wanton murder of your snoring partner. But don't worry, many judges know how snoring can drive someone crazy, so you might just get away with it anyhow!)
