Liberty Mutual has been running ads like this for a while now, where somebody has some damage done to their car, and so they just pull a new car out of the trunk, or else they peel off the outside of their damaged car, and there is a brand new car underneath! But guess what happens to the old, damaged car? That’s right: these irresponsible people just leave them out in the street to damage or total other people’s cars! How reckless and dangerous! And they’re paying these people to represent them on TV in an ad? Then if Liberty Mutual didn’t notice that this behavior is unacceptable and risky, how does that make them look? Not good, let me tell you! (They're an insurance company, and as such, they're supposed to be good at recognizing risks! But they totally missed those!)
Never mind the fact that even though these people are paying them for insurance coverage, the drivers (the ones paying for the service) still have to do all the work to pull the new cars out! And it looks like hard, back-breaking work, too! No wonder they’re always mad and don’t care about leaving all that litter lying around to hurt other people! And answer me this: How come Liberty Mutual customers are always getting their cars totaled in the ads? Are they cursed for signing up with Liberty Mutual to begin with? Did Liberty Mutual screw over some witch or something when her car was totaled, who then cursed them so that all of their customers would always get their cars totaled? I’m just curious.
Here is an example of one of these Liberty Mutual ads:
In this ad, a car gets smashed up in the middle of a deserted road out in the middle of nowhere, and they have a little deer walking away unharmed. So what, was it a robot deer or something, made out of ultra-dense space-age metals or whatever, left by some competing auto-insurance company? I’m kidding. I guess the driver supposedly swerved out of the way and hit the rocks, but I’ll bet that deer was out to get him! And all because he used Liberty Mutual insurance, because some executive for Liberty Mutual probably killed its mom! So all the deer in the forest have probably decided to get revenge by totaling everyone’s cars who have insurance with Liberty Mutual! They’re out to get you! Aaaaa! Quick: switch to Geico! (After all, it only takes 15 minutes! Oh, and from what I’ve heard, you may even save 15% or more on your car insurance. But I just recently heard that, since I’ve been living under a rock…)
Oh, and another thing: I have to take issue with this ad and all the others like it they’re running on TV, because any insurance agency out there, including them, would take one look at that car, and say: “Oh, that’s not totaled!”, and then they’d send it out to some cheap-ass, fly-by-night repair shop to “fix” it, and then you’d have problems with it thereafter for the rest of your life!
And another other thing: Their ad copy (headline) says: “An accident doesn’t have to slow you down.” Really?! So we should just drive off after we crash into someone, or keep on zooming past to try to escape, endangering more and more lives along the way, like someone in a high-speed chase? That sounds pretty irresponsible to me! And this from the company who always leaves wrecked cars out just sitting in the middle of the road around a blind curve, just in case the deer is too busy to wreck you! Unbelievable! Because that’s what someone apparently does in this other commercial of theirs:
In this one, some out-of-control pickup truck slams into a parked car so hard that it launches it into the air and makes it come all apart and disassemble while it’s in the air! And at the end of the commercial, the pickup truck guy is just gone! I mean, sure, the car he hit has somehow reassembled itself into a new car or whatever, but that guy was probably drunk to begin with! Otherwise, how could he have gone careening into a parked car in a parking lot at warp speed? So apparently, with their “an accident doesn’t have to slow you down” headline, Liberty Mutual wants to send the message that if you’re ever that pickup truck guy who wrecks someone else’s parked car, you should flee the scene of the accident, because hell, the car’s just going to get replaced anyway, so no harm/no foul. But you could then kill somebody else while fleeing the scene, or else a piece of that flying disassembled car could decapitate some unsuspecting pedestrian and kill them! And it’s all Liberty Mutual’s fault! Oh my God! The murderers! So if you ever get your car replaced by Liberty Mutual, check it out first to be sure there’s no blood anywhere, or you might get blamed for it!
And then, on top of it all, they have the nerve to have their tagline be: "Responsibility: What's your policy?" Um, my policy is not to leave the scene of an accident, and not to leave wrecked cars and jagged pieces of metal out lying in the middle of the street for other people's cars to hit! What's yours?
Now, obviously they probably didn't mean to send any message of this sort, and I’m just joking when I call them murderers, because at worst it’s reckless endangerment and depraved indifference in any case, and since they’re a major company, they’d probably just buy the jury and get away with it anyway. You can read this stuff into these ads, however, and I think it’s kind of a problem. But when you read the comments on the YouTube videos, it’s clear that nobody else notices this stuff, so I guess it’s all fine. But what concerns me is that these messages could be absorbed subliminally, and I guess that’s how they’re trying to spread their propaganda. And that’s obviously how they’re planning to brainwash us all and rule the world! “Liberty” Mutual, my foot: they’re trying to enslave us all with subliminal messages! (But nice job with that reverse-psychology name! It sounds so liberty-y!)
Now, obviously they probably didn't mean to send any message of this sort, and I’m just joking when I call them murderers, because at worst it’s reckless endangerment and depraved indifference in any case, and since they’re a major company, they’d probably just buy the jury and get away with it anyway. You can read this stuff into these ads, however, and I think it’s kind of a problem. But when you read the comments on the YouTube videos, it’s clear that nobody else notices this stuff, so I guess it’s all fine. But what concerns me is that these messages could be absorbed subliminally, and I guess that’s how they’re trying to spread their propaganda. And that’s obviously how they’re planning to brainwash us all and rule the world! “Liberty” Mutual, my foot: they’re trying to enslave us all with subliminal messages! (But nice job with that reverse-psychology name! It sounds so liberty-y!)
So look out! They must be a company of Bond villains, trying to conquer the world through car insurance! It could happen! And nobody would ever suspect a car insurance company of plotting to take over the world until it was too late! (Unless it’s like Geico or something. Yeah, that’s right: don’t try to tell me that guy in the suit who asks: “Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Does Foghorn Leghorn make a really bad blah blah blah…?” isn’t practicing for when he’s dictator of the New World Order! Politicians always try to use comedy to manipulate us! {By the way politicians: I’m available to write your jokes to help you take over the world!}) [Naturally, this is all just a joke. Some of this makes for a legitimate criticism of these ads, which do Liberty Mutual about as much harm as good as far as I can tell, but it’s all meant in fun, and I’m just joking about the rest. As far as I am aware, Liberty Mutual is not trying to conquer the world via insurance. Geico is the one doing that! (That’s what I heard, anyway! That’s why that piggy is training on that zip-line cable: for surprise attacks to conquer the world! And that’s also why they’re always trying to stump us all with those riddles in their ads: to confuse us so we’ll be vulnerable for conquest!)]
