That’s right: it’s not free to go to the beach anymore in New Jersey! (Or should I have said: “It ain’t free to go to de beach no moah in Noo Joysie!”?) Yes, they’re actually beginning to charge people $5 a pop to be able to attend the public beaches on the Jersey Shore. Well, I knew this was coming. After all, all that medical waste isn’t free, you know! And isn’t that why everyone always wants to go down to the New Jersey beaches: to see it all in person? That’s why I go! It simply never looks as good on the TV news! And if they have to charge for that, then fine. (But if it’s to try to prevent us from coming to the beach and accidentally bumping into one of the stars from Jersey Shore, maybe it’s especially worth it!)
But I think this is for another reason entirely: Governor Chris Christie wants to charge reporters for shots of him in his bathing suit, and this is the only way he could think of to get to do it! Or maybe he just wants more room on the beach so he’ll fit! Or maybe he wants to discourage people from actually coming to the beach so nobody will see him with his shirt off! They’re all pretty good reasons, and they make things harder on the average citizen, so I can understand why the Republicans like him so much. Plus, with this new fee, he's essentially just raised taxes, so maybe the Democrats will start to like him too! (Do you think it will work?)
All the big conservative voices in America seem to love Chris Christie right now. The only thing he needs to do to be a better Republican is this: name the beaches after big corporate interests. And just due to the reputation about medical waste being on the beaches there, how about naming them after a medical supply company? See? It’s perfect!
