(Note: I posted this for a day a while ago, but then I took it down, because I was concerned that it might offend some people. But after big bully Mexico had to cheat and not let the US win the Gold Cup, I’m re-posting it out of sour grapes! So there!)
In watching the first semi-final Champions League game between Manchester Untied and Schalke 04, I was reminded of how Javier Hernández has really recently become perhaps one of the most exciting players in the world today. His contribution to Manchester United’s dominance in recent Barclay’s League play really cannot be overestimated. As Wayne Rooney seemed to ebb, Chicharito has risen to the occasion, and it’s been wonderful to watch! He’s great, and it’s terrific to see him blossom into the best player he can be, as well as one of the best in the world. But it also reminds me of something else.
In the run up to the 2010 World Cup competition, there was an ad running on television here in the United States (on Spanish-Language channels: yes, I watch them sometimes.) showing players from the Mexican national team dressed up in jaguar skins and Aztec outfits, carrying those obsidian-blade clubs, running at the camera; then they morphed into the Mexican national soccer team, and the ad said something about them being the warriors of our day, and all that jazz. Anyway, Hernández was the center focus of this ad, so it made me remember it when I saw him play today. In any case, when I first saw that ad, in the run-up to the 2010 World Cup, it just made me think: “So then I guess just a couple of Spanish players could beat their whole team?” Please don’t be angry with me, here: I don’t mean offense to anyone. But seriously, to make an ad like that, referencing Aztec warriors as the precursors to the Mexican soccer team, how could I not think of that, in a historical context, when Spain was ranked #1 in the world at the time? And, indeed, Spain went on to win the 2010 World Cup. How could anyone help but think of it, honestly?
But I think that I have an idea for the next ad that might work well for them. Okay, here it is: Have digital re-creations of John Wayne and Richard Widmark, etc., from the movie version of The Alamo, acting as goalies in front of a goal put up in front of the Alamo. Then the Mexican national team can run up in Santa Ana uniforms and score on the Americans. They’d all dive to try to save it, but it would be too late. Mexico would score and win, and so long as they don’t have to play the United States in the World Cup, it would work fine. Even if they had to play, didn’t Mexico beat the U.S. like 5-0 in their last game? That’s the last one I remember, anyway.
Okay, so there might be a problem with that one, potentially, too, with people thinking of “Remember the Alamo”, and who won the Mexican-American war, and all that. But wait, I think I may have the solution to this too. Here’s yet another idea for an ad for the Mexican soccer team: The team is dressed up like illegal immigrants, and Janet Napolitano is in the goal at the border. So the Mexican team all run past her and rip through the net at the back of the goal, and then they escape into the United States to “take American jobs”. So then a drug cartel hit-man shoots Janet Napolitano in the arm with a gun they got from the “Fast and Furious” program, and as she bleeds through the sleeve of her shirt, she looks at the camera and says: “The border is the safest it’s ever been!” Then they play audio of the chant: “Sí, se puede!” as they show the Mexican flag being raised over the White House. How’s that for making Mexico look dominant?
BTW: Here’s the ad (My Spanish isn’t as good as it could be, so I’m sorry if I misread it):
DISCLAIMER: And to anyone I have managed to offend here:
I sincerely apologize. Really! But it’s impossible to be a comedian and deal with the important topics of the day without ruffling some feathers. I’m not trying to ruffle feathers, though, but it happens sometimes. So to our future Mexican overlords, please try to forgive and forget. Otherwise, I’ll have to sell you out to China.
