On NPR yesterday, I heard a big panel discussion on objectivity in journalism where lots of people were saying that journalists should stick to facts, like, for example, the fact that human activity is responsible for global warming. Then they just talked about how it’s a done deal that mankind is to blame for global warming, and that all scientists agree, etc., for the rest of the time. Huh, I thought it was supposed to be about objectivity in journalism, but whatever. See what happens when you listen to NPR? They try to indoctrinate you with evil science! That’s why Republicans want to defund NPR: they know science is evil, and who can argue with that?
Look, I will grant you that most scientists agree about that global warming stuff, but look at who you’re trusting here, you lefty-liberal lawnchairs (sorry, I ran out of “L” words). That’s right: you’re trusting your lives with scientists! These are the same people who made Frankenstein monsters, H-Bombs, Amazing Colossal Men, giant tarantulas, etc.! If you’ve watched any 1950s movies, you know how much these guys loose destruction upon the Earth, and just for the sake of science! (Well, and to rule the world and stuff.) And do you know what happens when you put your faith in evil mad scientists who just want to rule the world? That’s right: it makes God mad, and then He’s going to heat up the world to try to kill all the evil scientists like a fever tries to kill a germ. So it is man-made, but you’re blaming the wrong people! It’s the scientists who are to blame!
I say we get them before we all get cooked! Who’s with me?
