Times are tough, and if you weren’t aware of how bad things have gotten, just witness this example of a famous family-entertainment star having to prostitute herself out to starring in advertisements for dubious corporate interests. Yes, I’m afraid it’s Lassie who’s being forced to shill for rich bankers now. Look out, Lassie: they say when you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas; and I wouldn’t want you to be getting fleas when your owners are already in dire financial straits.
But the funny thing about this ad is that while we all know that Lassie knows her owner has a structured-settlement payment every month, she can’t tell that to JG Wentworth! So when he follows her all the way from the city to her family’s farm, miles and miles away (on foot!), would he be willing to help them with their desperate financial needs just out of love, or because he had already schlepped all that way? Or would he refuse them on the spot and make a point of buying their mortgage and foreclosing on their farm just because he was inconvenienced when it couldn’t have profited him handsomely? I’m just curious.
But seriously, if he refused them in front of Lassie, I’d hope she would gnaw his legs off! Then he’d never be able to walk back, and they could make chili meat out of him. Yes, that’s right: this happens to be the Texas Chain Saw Massacre farm, and by refusing their request for financial help, he’s inadvertently signed his own death warrant! Oh, well. If only he had bothered to learn how to speak dog!
Here’s the ad:
