I just heard on the news that there is a push to ban McDonald’s from using the Ronald McDonald clown mascot in their marketing. Um, this is silly. I know this stems from the belief that all kids just love clowns. But do they really? Just ask them. I hated clowns, thinking they were really stupid and lame. Other kids I knew thought clowns were creepy and scary, and still other kids (the tough ones) referred to them as (gay slur)s. Is this clown really what’s packing them in? I seriously doubt it!
And really, aren’t kids just a small fringe market for McDonald’s anyway? Whenever I go into one, there are a lot of young people (as in tweens and teenagers) in there, and I can tell you definitively, they hate clowns! If McDonald’s got rid of the clown mascot, they’d really be packing in the teenagers! But back to kids, do these clown-bashers really think that little kids are the ones making the food decisions for their households? They can nag their parents, but that’s about the extent of their power. Mostly, I’d guess that parents take their kids to McDonald’s whenever they want a break from cooking for an evening; that’s why there was that famous jingle: “You deserve a break today, so get up and get away, to McDonald’s!” (They should also have had a jingle for the parents who wanted to get rid of their teenage children for a while so they could get some peace and quiet for a change. It could have been: “We deserve a break today, so get out and go away, to McDonald’s!”) And so the clown and the “Happy Meal” toys and “Playland” and stuff is all for the parents (not the kids), to give them a break! (I mean, the kids use that stuff, but it's really intended to give the kids something to do or to distract them for a little while so the parents can catch their breath!) When these haters attack McDonalds for this kind of stuff, they’re not protecting kids, they’re punishing parents!
I have to admit, I really like McDonald’s now, but as a child, I hated it! My parents dragged me there once in a while, not because I loved the clown, but because they needed a break once in a while. I think maybe parents think kids like the clown, but I think they really go to McDonald’s because they like it. So this whole argument about the kids meals and the clown is all a big distraction and a load of hogwash wrapped in a flaky bullying crust!
After all, McDonald’s has bent over backwards to accommodate the diet Nazis more than any other restaurant (fast-food or otherwise!) by overhauling their menu, adding lots of alternate healthy choices like salads and low-fat grilled stuff, and listing the calorie counts next to items on the menu. What more must they do to satisfy these people, knock everything off the menu except for a tomato wrapped in lettuce? (Then they’d bitch about pesticides! Seriously, you know they would!) And what other restaurant has done anything like what McDonald’s has done to try to become more socially and health-conscious and responsible? It seems like every other fast-food chain is proudly advertising these meat-mountain sandwiches dripping with grease and piled high with every imaginable high-calorie topping, but these McDonald's-bashers never go after them! I mean, honestly! At a certain point, I think McDonald’s is going to start to feel victimized, and they might even fight back by deleting all the healthy choices from their menu and deep-frying everything in the most fattening kind of lard out of spite. And it is my belief that this targeting of McDonald’s has nothing whatsoever to do with children’s health or welfare; I think this is because the people who bash and attack McDonald’s have a serious craving for McDonald’s food, but they know they’re too fat and out-of-shape to be able to eat it; and if they can’t enjoy it, nobody should be allowed to!
But seriously, when you get bashed no matter what you do, after awhile it becomes clear that it’s not fair, and you just snap; and when McDonald’s reaches this breaking-point, there will be nowhere else to go for healthy choices at a fast-food restaurant. After all, other fast-food chains have seen how kowtowing to the food police has gotten absolutely no credit or relief from persecution for McDonald’s, so why the hell should any of them even bother to try to change their menus? These stupid hippies are their own worst enemy, because eventually this “when they give an inch, demand a mile” strategy is bound to backfire; look at what happened with the global-warming debate for confirmation of this. But by all means, demand the ouster of the stupid clown Ronald McDonald! I’ll bet once he’s gone, the place will become twice as popular with kids! And I seriously hope so, just to stick it to these bullies who are always unfairly pushing people around with ridiculous demands out of their sense of “moral outrage”. Moral outrage, my ass: they’re just bullies who like throwing their weight around. Jerks! I hope when parents can’t bring their kids to McDonald’s anymore, all the kids will go knock down your mailboxes and roll your houses with toilet paper! If you can’t be reasonable with McDonald’s, at least think of all the stressed-out, hassled and harried parents out there who really do “deserve a break today”!
Here’s an older story about this, but there’s a new push for it again now according to the TV box!:
