Wow! I just read the best story* about people who lie about being Navy SEALs and stuff like that. Unbelievable! It’s kinda pathetic, but it’s also kinda funny that they think nobody’s ever going to find out. They use these lies to gain respect and become famous and successful, never suspecting that it’s those very benefits that will attract the attention that will bring their discovery and downfall! It’s crooked, and it’s sad. But even worst of all, it’s really dishonorable, and disrespectful to the actual Navy SEALs who really carry out such dangerous operations, and who really are badass patriot heroes.
It’s also really offensive to real pretend special ops soldiers. These guys who lie about being Navy SEALs and stuff are giving guys who pretend to be Navy SEALs a bad name! They’re all running around, telling everyone about their “heroic exploits”, trying to impress people and get all kinds of fringe benefits, when real pretend special forces guys have to keep everything they pretend to do secret so as not to blow their cover! If everyone found out that they were fake commandos, they’d never be able to carry out all of their pretend secret missions! But I guess that’s how it’s easy to tell when someone is a fake pretend commando and when they’re a real pretend one: the fake pretend ones will brag and brag and expect you to buy them drinks, and the real pretend ones are all out secretly pretend-fighting the “war on terror”. These are the real fake heroes: the ones who don’t try to gyp you out of anything. They wear their store-bought medals with pride at home in secret, all by themselves. And they salute themselves in the mirror after a successful pretend mission, just like they would get from a real commander if they were a real soldier. They’re like CIA agents, only they don’t actually do anything. Or maybe they actually are real CIA agents if that’s the standard we’re using, I don’t know. But we’ll never know, because these guys are sworn to secrecy about their pretend lives! And if guys like the ones who get caught lying about being Navy SEALs would just keep it secret that they’re fake Navy SEALs just like a real Navy SEAL would do, then they’d never get into any trouble, because then nobody would ever find out.
* Here’s the story:
