Rod Blagojevich, John Edwards, and John Ensign are back in the news again recently, due to court proceedings and legal troubles. And based on what they’re being charged with, they’re not going to be able to use just any public defender if they want to stay out of jail. No, they’re going to have to use high-powered lawyers, and that’s going to cost them a serious chunk of change! I think these guys should create some kind of product that they could sell to help them pay for their legal defenses. So how about selling a product called the “Tissue of Lies”?
Yes, it's the “Tissue of Lies”: Hey fraudsters, scam artists, Wall Street crooks, disgraced politicians and perjurers: when you have to simulate crying or blowing and wiping your nose to make juries feel sorry for you, you don’t want to use just any kind of Kleenex or toilet paper! No, that’s just going to remind people of what excrement you are when you rub toilet paper on yourself! That’s why you need the “Tissue of Lies”! It’s classy, yet disposable, so you can look totally honest and respectable as you blow your nose or pretend to dry your eyes from fake crying! That’s the “Tissue of Lies”! Ask for it by name wherever scummy products like the “date rape drug” and dangerous "bath salts" drugs are sold!
