An article in Live Science makes it clear that fetuses have memories, and can remember stuff that happens to them. Some doctor said: “people would say that the human fetus is a sort of black box”. They didn’t clarify that statement, but isn’t it clear enough? The “black box” is what is recovered from a crashed airplane to tell them all about what the cause of the crash was, right? So, obviously, an aborted fetus stores all the information of who was responsible for the abortion, probably right down to all the people who support a women’s right to choose. So then it’s obvious, isn’t it? People who oppose abortion are afraid of payback!
Yes, as opponents of abortion surely know, God probably reads the fetus like we would read a black box from an airline crash, and then He’ll know who is responsible! And they all get the fiery pit! So, then, obviously anti-abortion activists are just trying to save us all from an eternity of torture and damnation. Don’t you appreciate them more now? They’re just bravely endeavoring to help the unknowing and unappreciative masses. Right? Unless…
There is an alternate possibility, however. Perhaps what’s really going on here is that since fetuses can remember stuff, and also serve as hard-drive memory storage for who is responsible for abortion, it’s all designed so that they can haunt abortion supporters afterwards, but that for some reason, they always pick on the ultra-religious conservatives to haunt relentlessly instead. Perhaps that’s because they’re the most likely to deny the existence of ghosts, since all the dead people are surely in either heaven (people who think like them) or hell (everyone else), and as such they’re more likely to think they’ve just gone crazy and run away and hide and stuff, rather than call the local psychic and medium and make up a homemade Ouija board and have a séance party. And since they’re just fetuses, they’re really creepy, icky-looking ghosts, and they’re also always pulling extremely immature pranks on the people they’re haunting. So then these people don’t really oppose abortion at all; they’re simply trying to get all the fetus ghosts to leave them alone by whatever means necessary.
Now, I don’t know if either of these theories is true. I’ve never been haunted by any fetuses that I know of. But it’s clear that science has absolutely confirmed that this is what’s going on beyond the shadow of a doubt. If fetuses have memories and are “black boxes”, what else could it possibly mean?
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