Chuck Schumer is trying to pass a new law that says rental car companies are not allowed to rent cars that are subject to recall and have not been fixed yet. So he wants to inconvenience business owners just because their cars might kill people. What a jerk! He just wants to kill jobs! (That’s the only thing in danger of being killed here, man: jobs!)
Look, we all know this is the kind of liberal job-killing stuff Republicans are always warning about. Don’t fall for it! Everybody knows there’s a risk of dying from renting cars: that’s all part of the fun! What, do you want to live forever? Don’t you want the excitement of “living on the edge”? If you want to live, then buy a car, loser!
I object to the fact that Schumer is trying to deny me that adrenaline thrill-ride I get from rental cars. I mean, yeah, I guess I could just pretend that they’re dangerous, but it’s hardly the same thing at all! He’s just trying to spoil my fun! Don’t let him get away with it!
This is regarding the following news story:
