I am the diviner of dinner destinations; the fortune-teller of fast-food restaurants! Just yesterday, I warned of a backlash by McDonald’s against the relentless persecution by food Nazis in light of all the concessions they’ve made to accommodate hippies’ demands, and the continuing campaign against McDonald’s anyway, in addition to the fact that no other fast-food restaurant is experiencing anything like this kind of persistent bullying. Well, today they did it, but only after suffering through a lot of harassment. Let this be a lesson to all other businesses who think they can win any kind of approval from progressive protest groups by giving in to their demands: give them an inch and they will take a mile. Seriously: I know it feels wrong, but you have to tell them to go fuck themselves. Look at what happened to McDonald’s! They did a lot to accommodate the food police, and they just got targeted again and again and again. If you flinch, they’ll know you’re weak, and you’ll get bullied relentlessly from then on. It’s just like in school when a bully targeted you: you have to hit back or they’ll never leave you alone. Look at Dodge as an example: they did what PeTA asked (about removing a monkey from a regional ad. See my post: “Dodging PeTA” for more info.*) technically, but they did it in such a way as to make PeTA look silly, and then they made a new ad campaign that basically makes fun of PeTA again in a sly, suggestive way. And as far as I know, PeTA has left them alone after that.
What am I talking about with McDonald’s, though, that makes me the McNostradamus of McNuggets? Well, as I had predicted, McDonalds has had that backlash I was referring to. (I just didn’t think it was going to happen so fast!) Yes, they had a corporate meeting of the shareholders, and they rejected the idea of dropping Ronald McDonald, doing a study on their food’s impact on childhood obesity, etc. (I’ll include a link to the article below.) Yep, like I said, the hippies are their own worst enemy, always trying to overplay their hand. They’re just like a bully who keeps pushing it further and further until they step over that line and get their ass kicked or just plain ignored completely. And ignoring these social-engineering bullies is the worst kind of punishment of all for them! They feel that they can force the world to do everything their way, but most of them don’t even know if their way is any better to begin with. Like I said before: they’re really just a bunch of bullies who like throwing their weight around. Perhaps they could throw their weight around more effectively if they plumped up on lots of delicious McDonald's food first!
So kudos, McDonald’s, for finally standing up to that bully and telling them you’re not going to take it anymore. Now all they can do is not eat at your restaurants, and confidentially, you should feel blessed to be rid of them! Maybe now they can go after the fast-food restaurants who make the huge artery-clogging mega-burgers and lardy-fries instead! You know, the ones who try to lure us in with the meat-mountains, rather than emphasizing the healthy choices in their ads like McDonald’s has lately. Maybe that’s because they don’t have any healthy choices to begin with! They’re the ones who really deserve it, if anyone does at all. But no, it’s only fun to pick on Ronald McDonald: after all, he’s just a lame wimpy clown, and he never fought back much until now. (It is my belief that the food Nazis have never wanted to make McDonald's healthy, but rather, to make them fail. They wanted to fell the "evil" giant, and it backfired on them, with the concessions making McDonald's more popular than ever. It's funny, really. What they should have done, if they really cared about the obesity issue, was to praise McDonald's for making steps in the right direction, and then to ask other chains to follow their example. But did they do it? No! And now it's possible that businesses will learn from this that they should never listen to these groups in the first place.)
* Here’s the link to the “Dodging PeTA” post:
Here’s the story (I can’t believe I wrote about this the day before it happened! What are the chances? BTW: that post is called "Tears of a Clown (The Unjust Persecution of Ronald McDonald)", and if you want this post to make more sense, you might want to read it. It's from May 18th, so it's just a few down the list from this one.):
