Today I heard a child advocate express a position contrary to the brilliant new laws of prosecuting parents for their children’s truancy. Everyone knows that parents are responsible for everything a child does, and so then it follows that they should go to jail if their kid skips school. I don’t care if both parents have to work to pay the bills and stuff; that’s no excuse! No, you should quit your job and play catcher outside the school all day, grabbing your kid by the scruff of the neck whenever they try to escape from school, or else catch them in your government-provided truant-children’s catchers’ mitt. If you lose your home and can’t pay for your kid’s food as a result, that will teach your children that actions have consequences, and they’ll learn to be good citizens. It’s a brilliant plan that can’t fail!
But here’s where I had to cry foul: some child advocate who opposed this plan said that this is government over-reach, and that there should be standards to look into the circumstances of each case. Yeah, right! She just hates kids and wants them to become failures and rejects! I’m on to her! First of all, if this is government over-reach, then why do you then propose a plan that would expand the reach and size of government? Nice try, Miss Trixie Liberal! But here’s the real giveaway: she said this: “Well, if your kid has neo-Nazi signs and stuff all around, and is burning cats in the street, that’s a red flag.” Okay, here’s how we can tell she’s a liar: people who are neo-Nazis hate communists, and what does a “red flag” denote? That’s right: communism!* So, unless she’s referring to a red flag with a swastika in the middle of it (which she didn’t say!), she’s mixing two extremist ideologies that hate one another, and as such she cannot be trusted to know what she’s talking about!
* By the way, if you’re wondering why “Nazi” gets to be capitalized and “communist" doesn’t, you’ll have to ask Microsoft: they’re the ones who insist on this stuff through their spell check. I used to think it was due to their obvious affinity with the Nazi idea of world conquest, but then I remembered that commies wanted to do that too. But then it became clear to me: they don’t want “communist” or “commie” to be capitalized so that we wouldn’t perceive it/them as a threat so they could take over the world more easily! Nice try, Microsoft, but I’m on to your evil plan now!
