When you watch most martial arts movies (especially Hong Kong Kung Fu movies), it seems like the moral is clear, right? It’s something about courage, standing up to bullies, helping those less fortunate than oneself, and the responsibility of power and stuff like that, right? Nope. No, if you really watch these movies, especially the Shaw Brothers ones, another moral quickly becomes clear to you.
Yes, the real moral of most martial arts movies is this: Don’t learn martial arts or everyone will try to kick your ass all the time.
That’s right, the hero of every martial arts, and especially Kung Fu, movie gets attacked constantly and mercilessly by the bad guys! They gang up on him, ambush him at every opportunity, use excessive force, even cheat and use (gasp!) firearms to try to take him down. Yeah, I know the bad guys pick on other people, like peasants and stuff, but it’s not the same thing at all. Sure, they want the rabble to work for them, and sometimes they’ve got to push someone around once in a while to make sure everyone stays in line, but it’s not like they’re attacking them all around the clock or anything! But if you know Kung Fu, oh boy; look out! Once they know you can fight with martial arts skills, you’ll never be lonely again, even if it’s just because everyone’s always trying to kill you. Yep, the truth is that if you know martial arts, everyone is going to try to kick your ass all the time. It never fails! You’d think that it would be a plus to be able to defend yourself and help others who are being pushed around, but actually, as it turns out, not so much. So if you want to live in peace, don’t learn martial arts! The moral couldn’t be any clearer. All you have to do is watch one of these movies for confirmation of this.
