Yes, that’s right: I just saw it on TV, so you know it’s true! It was even on the news! Ha ha! Y’all suck! We’re #1, and you’re not even close!
Of course I’m talking about the fact that LAX (the Los Angeles airport) is #1 for theft of articles out of checked baggage. Nyah, nyah! I know y’all are jealous, but there can be only one #1! (So suck on that, everyone else!)
I must admit, being from New York City myself, that I’m really shocked and dismayed (as well as embarrassed) that New York has fallen behind LA in this department. That’s right: New York’s JFK airport is only #2 on the list. Oh, the shame of it all! And after they named the airport after John F. Kennedy too! He’d be so disappointed.
I know this is big talk, but here is proof of my claim that we’re #1!:
