We’ve all heard about what a big threat to our security China poses, and how they’re doing cyber attacks on us all the time, stealing all our secrets and stuff, right? Well, we’ve got a plan to fight back, and it’s just beginning to take shape. Check out the result of the preliminary stages of our new tactics:
Did you see that? Chinese people are fighting over iPads in the Apple store in China! See? They’re just a bunch of greedy, selfish, narcissistic materialists like us! So we can use our own weaknesses against them now, since they’re even more vulnerable, coming from a background of relative deprivation compared with us! All we’ve got to do is create amazing, incredibly desirable “gotta-have-‘em” products they’ll all be yearning for night and day, and then just make sure that there’s not nearly enough of them to go around shipped to the Chinese market. As we can clearly see, they’ll be fighting each other to no end to get their grubby mitts on these exploitative capitalist status symbols! We’ve got our hooks in them now! All we’ve got to do is reel them in!
