Hey, we all remember White Gold, right? He was that
make-believe 70s arena rock star who used to shill for milk. Well, now that
milk has kicked him to the curb, how about doing a comeback for Crest
Whitestrips? Here’s how this would work:
Since White Gold is a (purported) musician, why not have him
fight tooth yellowing caused by some other musical threat: The Beatles’ Yellow
Submarine? So in this ad, the Yellow Submarine goes around making everyone’s
teeth yellow, and then White Gold comes and whitens everyone’s teeth with the
power of his rockin’. And then they could say that no matter how much you
yellow your teeth with stuff like bong hits and joints and cigarettes while
listening to stoner music, your teeth will become ultimate white again with the
White Gold power of Crest Whitestrips! And then he opens his lips in a smile
that blinds the world with its whiteness! (Oh, I guess it better not blind
everyone permanently, or else it wouldn’t matter what color people’s teeth are,
and we couldn’t have that!)
Here’s an example of the Milk “White Gold” campaign:
