The news says that “war drums” are beating between Israel
and Iran, and they ask the (I suppose) musical question: “Should we be
alarmed?” Well, I’d say it depends on the kind of drums, and who is playing
them. If they’re just like bongo drums being played by some hippie in a tie-dye
and flip-flops, then it’s probably not much to worry about; after all, hippies
hate war, and bongo drums are almost always played at anti-war rallies. But
what if it’s a big Sonor or Ludwig or Pearl drum set with a double-kick-drum
setup, and it’s being played by some death metal drummer? Well, I’d say that’s
more troubling, because they always like to sing about slaughter and Satan and apocalyptic
stuff, so that’s probably a bad sign. But it would sound a lot better to have the
death metal drummer playing, so at least it would be badass before we all died
in the upcoming apocalypse war. So at least there’s that.
Here’s the drummed-up story:
