I really love Bud Greenspan’s Olympics documentaries, and
I’ve always wanted to make a joke one with that same narrator guy, Will Lyman,
doing the announcing in exactly the same serious tone of voice, but talking
about all the worst disasters of Olympic athletes (fictitious ones, to avoid
hurt feelings {and because there are no
losers at the Olympics: they’re all
champions, and that’s why they’re there!}). One of Bud Greenspan’s best Olympic
documentaries is called: Bud Greenspan’s Favorite Stories of Olympic
Glory, so I thought a good joke version
would be to have the opposite of this, with his (imaginary) favorite stories of
Olympic athletes who screwed up. (And they could make the point that everybody
screws up, but only on a stage like the Olympics can people screw up on a truly
epic scale.)
This could be really silly and tongue-in-cheek, with fencers
who stab each other in the hand fencing with cutlery in the dining center and
have to drop out with injuries, some sprinter who breaks his big toe in a
closing door trying to kick a teammate in the butt, etc. And there could be
some guy who’s from some country with no Internet, and he gets free Internet
service in the Olympic Village, and he gets so addicted to looking at porn that
he misses his events. Or maybe there could be a medal contender for
weightlifting who pulls a muscle showing off his flexing muscles to some girls,
and so he can’t compete, etc. And there could be people who went to the wrong arena,
or skied down the wrong side of the mountain, or shot an official with an air
rifle by mistake during target practice. And at the end of each story, Will
Lyman could say in that completely dry, serious deep voice: “Nyah, nyah,
ny’nyah nyah. Epic fail.”
