I love the Nike “Swoosh” logo (I think it’s one of the
greatest logos ever), but it looks kind of dangerous. I mean, if it were
3-dimensional and made out of metal, someone could stab people with it, or else
maybe someone could trip and get impaled upon it (!). Maybe some competitor
could make an ad claiming it’s too dangerous to allow. Like, for example, maybe
some Conan the Barbarian-style villain could forge a big Nike Swoosh logo and
try to kill people with it, but just then, Wolverine appears and saves the day
with his three-pronged Adidas logo claws and shatters the dangerously sharp
steel Nike logo with his adamantium Adidas logo! Or maybe New Balance could
make an ad where some runner is having a nightmare about an upcoming track
meet, and they get attacked by Freddy Krueger, whose glove has 5 razor-sharp
Nike Swoosh logos on it clawing at their flesh; oh, but their New Balance shoes
allow them to escape with their comfortable fit and bouncy soles! Thank
goodness for Adidas and New Balance: saving the world from recklessly dangerous
logo designs! (Wouldn’t it be fun if sportswear companies made attack ads
against one another like this?)
Oh, and how about this for a sportswear logo attack ad: It’s
the crack of dawn, and at the athletic training camp, the Le Coq Sportif
rooster logo crows and wakes everyone up for their day of training. Oh, but
just then, the Puma logo pounces on and kills the Le Coq Sportif logo, and it
gets served to the athletes for lunch as chicken pot pie, thus proving the
dominance of Puma sportswear! Yes, just when athletes who use other sportswear
become lulled into a false sense of security, Puma strikes like lightning and
wins the day!
And to come full circle with this idea, and to be fair to
Nike, I’ve got to give them one too. So how about this? Some Samurai is
dribbling a soccer ball through the jungle (I know, I know: just go with it!)
when just then, the Puma logo strikes! Oh, but our stalwart Samurai draws his
lightning sword of death in the form of a razor-sharp Nike Swoosh logo, and he
slices the Puma logo in two! (Swoosh, indeed!) Yes, Nike: cutting the
competition to ribbons!
