State Farm Teleportation Ads

We’ve been seeing these ads for a while now where some driver gets into an accident, or gets in trouble, or is just showing off, and they say: “Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there!” And then an agent magically appears out of nowhere. (These are apparently called the “Magic Jingle” ads.) But they’re not really appearing out of nowhere, and it’s not really magic, either: this is teleportation! And we all know what happens with teleportation, don’t we?

That’s right: State Farm is recklessly putting all of us, and especially its clients, in danger from (Gasp!) The Fly! (Horror movie music, please.) Look, we’ve all seen the movies, and we all know that someday a fly will get into this hazardous teleportation machine State Farm is apparently illegally running without government approval, and it will turn their agent into The Fly: a ruthless killing machine! It will appear inside of someone’s wrecked car with them, and they won’t be able to escape it’s ravenous claws of death! You know it’s true! In fact, it’s probably already happened, and I’ll bet they must send teams out to cover it all up by pushing the car off a cliff and torching it! (That’s what I do when that happens to me. Um, I mean, that’s what I would do if it happened to me. Not that it does that often, though… {Really: it hardly ever happens to me anymore!}) Every time I see a burning wreck on the road somewhere, I always think to myself: “So it’s finally happened: The Fly! I knew it!”

Here’s an example of one of these ads (Imagine being those guys, getting attacked by a buffalo and calling for help, only to be attacked by something infinitely more deadly and terrifying: The Fly! {They don’t have the courage to tell us the truth and show us the horror of what really happens when their half-human/half-fly agent shows up and attacks, but maybe their competitors could demonstrate this very real danger in some attack ads against State Farm?}):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRS4shfH1Pw

And here’s an illustration of what might happen if there is a fly in the ointment with the teleporter (I’m not saying this will happen, but it could! You've seen The Fly: you know it's possible!):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyUd1QVyCnM&feature=related