The CIA has just released a few videos confiscated from Osama bin Laden’s villa the night he was killed by Navy SEALs. In some of these videos, dated from 2010, bin Laden has clearly dyed his gray beard black. You can tell he dyed it too, since his hair is gray and his face looks old, but his beard is all black. Did he have that van of guys from the Just For Men Beard Dye commercials stop outside of his hideout and advise him to dye his beard when he got rejected by a group of terrorists for looking too old? I wonder…
This could be the makings for a new Just For Men Beard Dye ad for the Jihadist community, right? They could use these videos, show them next to some other videos where bin Laden has a gray beard, and say stuff like: “You can’t inspire suicide bombers to sacrifice themselves to your cause when you’ve got too much gray in your beard! It makes you look old and feeble! Use Just For Men Beard Dye! It looks so good, you can brainwash terrorists to do your bidding from just a single VHS video!” Then they could show the difference in what happens when terrorists see two different videos: one where he’s got a gray beard, and one where he’s got a black beard. After watching the video where he’s got a gray beard, the terrorists all refuse to do the attack and just go eat at McDonalds or some other American fast food place, where they meet girls and quit terrorism altogether. But then, they show them see the video of bin Laden with the black beard, and they all strap on bomb vests and go sprinting out of the tent. Then they cut to some huge explosion, proving the power of persuasion you get from dyeing your beard. I’ll bet they sell tons of it then!
They could lose sales from the fact that it’s an American company, though. To avoid this, they could create a new brand of beard dye called: “Just For Jihadists: Bin Laden Beard” Beard Dye: “For All Kinds-a Al Qaida Beards!”
