Hey, we all know that Colgate makes everyone’s teeth
blindingly white, right? (It’s called “Optic White” because it blinds people,
I think.) Well, this could be used to great effect for sports-related ads. You
know how people in the crowds at games sometimes use laser pointers to
temporarily blind athletes and screw them up so they miss? Well, this is a
thing of the past when you use Colgate Optic White! And, it’s not even illegal (yet)!
Okay, so here’s how this might work in an ad: The World Cup
Final is being played, and it’s a tie (probably 0-0, knowing soccer), about to go into
overtime. But just then, the pariah team gets the ball and comes close to
scoring a goal (!). Oh, but then, behind the goal, supporters of the favorite
team smile, after having used Colgate Optic White, and their smiles are so
bright, the blind the bad guy team! And then, as the only players still able to
see, the good guy team gets the ball and scores, winning the game! Yea, team!
(This could also happen to ruin a penalty kick, like some fans do today with
laser pointers.)
Or how about this: It’s the final game of the World Series,
and the home team is losing by one run, and they’re about to lose the game (and the series) with
one out left to go, but the bases are loaded and their best hitter is up (!).
Well, he hits a high fly ball, and it looks like it will be caught, but just
then, everyone in the crowd smiles, having been using Colgate Optic White, and
it temporarily blinds the outfielder, and he can’t catch the ball. So three
runs score, and the home team wins the World Series! Yea, team! Yea, cheating
fans!
And: It’s the Super Bowl, and the favorite team of the crowd
is about to win the game, up by 3 points! Oh, but the other team has the ball
in the last few seconds of the game, and they’re only 30 yards from getting a
touchdown! Well, they throw the ball into the end zone on third down, but
someone smiles with their blindingly white smile, and they miss the catch!
Well, that guy gets thrown out of the game, and then the team tries a field
goal to take the game into overtime (!). Oh, but when their field goal kicker
tries to kick the ball, the whole crowd lets their blindingly white smiles
loose, and the kicker misses not only the field goal, but the ball as well (!!).
And so the favorite team wins! (Yea, team! Yea, crowd! Yea, Colgate Optic
White!)
